Adult Children

Why must I deal with adult children?  What has happened to dealing with your issues or problems or responsibilities and when did ignoring them become an option?
Seriously folks what is so hard to understand here?  Someone asks you a question you don't really want to answer, well as far as i can tell you have a number of options off the top of my head, answer the question and get it over with, tell the person you don't want to answer the question and not to ask it, tell the person you will answer later, answer the dumb question... Notice, ignore the person didn't make the short list.  Here is what i have seen from personal experience.
1:Ask someone a question
2:the someone doesn't like the question, doesn't want to answer the question, or doesn't want to tell you the answer to the question
3:the asker, receiving no reply, asks again (and depending on how important the asker feels the question is this could turn to frustration which could lead to bad stuff)
4:again ignore
5:viscious cycle repeats until someone gets pissed.
Example, Asked the mother of my children if I could have my monitor back and the pawn slip so I can get the xbox (please note I have her monitor, a cheapy, she has my monitor 1080p with multiple video inputs, as well as our 40" tv, she likes to be able to play on her pc and watch tv at the same time, I have no tv at all and cant hook her moinitor to anything but a pc. I would really like something for my children when I see them on the weekends). She suggested I hang with the children at her place since she has everything.
She doesnt like the fact I told her there was someone I wanted my kids to meet and stops talking.  So at this point I have no idea if she is going to continue holding my monitor hostage, if my xbox has defaulted in the pawn shop, if I'm suppose to bring the kids over to her place, etc.  This is a big deal to me as I get frustrated when I think I'm not doing everything I can for my kids, and I feel that this is something so simple and dumb, trading the monitor would do nothing, her PC cant even use my monitor effectivly, except allow me to hook up other things to the monitor so My kids have options when they come over, oh and her bf won't be able to play ps3 when she's watching tv (is this leading to a me me me rant).
No reply no idea whats going on, nothing, which frustrates me.
Now here is what her ignoring the issue has done when you break it down
A:I am frustrated to the point of pulling out my hair, I'm confused because it seems like such a simple thing, I'm hurt because it feels like she is trying to punish me but only hurting her children, and I have texted her and her mother way too many times attempting to get an answer
B:She is hurting her children and causing pain to people for no reason other then she doesn't want to deal, wants to hurt me, wants power, whatever her reason is. (not easy guessing what someone who is slightly insane is thinking)
C:My kids suffer, thier parents have yet another rift driven between them, they will be without that comfort (ya thats not alot but it is there and a big deal to a kid), the kids mother shows a sorta callousness towards them that is completly unfathomable.
So looking at this as far as I can tell the kids suffer, not me (not alot at least) and not her (not at all).  Moral of my rant?  Beats me, take care of your shit, face your responsibilities, its always easier and better to deal then run. And remember your kids, and that your comforts, your wants, your desires do NOT come before those of your children.