Thank you

I would like to start by saying thank you. You all, and you know who you are, may not beleive it but you saved me last night.  I have never been to a point this low in my life and thanks to you all I think I can still fight.
This is probably going to be long but I think I need to finally do it, get it out of me.
At the begining of the year me and my wife seperated after 14 years.  The seperation was horrible and things that happened hospitalized me for a bit.  I tried to stay with my wife, not emotionally but physically, to help care for the children (our kids had been living with thier alcoholic violent grandmother) but things wee done that i could not be around and the day after I left she shipped the kids back to her mother.
I spent a few months homeless, bouncing from place to place until I finally found my own apartment.
When I got the apartment the understanding was I would have the kids live with me so i got a 2 bedroom accross the street from an elementary school and a high school.
At about this time I let my wife use my car to ferry around the children, I did not know she had a warrent out for an unpaid ticket, she got pulled over and my car was inpounded for 30 day.  I was unable to afford the impound costs and lost my car.
About a week after that my ex tells me she has just gotten a new car and that she will be having the children live with her, 2 days later I got sued for child support.
I am in no way shy about paying child support, I am a bit irate over the fact that the state will help her get child support because she applied for state medical benifits for the kids instead of asking me to add them to my insurance (I had thought they were on her insurance).  I also found out that my oldest daughter was not only living with a friend of hers, but not even in the same city, yet my ex had filed for benifits and child support for all 3.
During this time I attempted to speak with my kids and I wasn't getting an answer.  Since the caregiver, her bf, is on morphine and had already threatened to shoot me I started to get nervous and called for a well check on my kids.  Since then my phone number has been blocked by my ex.
I then contacted the state to find out what my rights to my children are, and this is where I lost it.
I was informed that since me and my wife have not filed divorce ($300 I don't have) I have no recourse to make her let me see or talk to my children, they also stated that child support is based not on my available income, but is based on my gross pay with no account taken of my bills, in order to change it I would have to have a hearing in front of a judge saying I cant afford child support, will not be pretty.
Last weekend I was suppose to get all 3 of my kids, I was told by my ex that she couldn't get ahold of our oldest daughter so I can have them next weekend.
What is killing me is I have no idea what is happening with my kids, no email, txt, voicemail I leave or send is answered.  My number is now blocked (because she feels harrassed when I talk to her, funny when I call for my kids she should be at work as far as I know) and I can talk to my boy if I happen to see him online playing a game.
As it stands I havent heard or seen my oldest daughter in over a month, I have no idea where she is living, who she is living with.  I havent spoken to my 2 youngest in 2 weeks.  I have to somehow pay $700 before oct 27th or face possible jail time for driving without insurance and on a suspended lic (I was stupid and tried to drive a block after not driving for 2 years because my wife had just had surgery on her foot).  I cannot afford divorce ($280 in Snohomish county wa) so I have no ability to force my wife to let me see or contact my children.  I can't really afford food and cant get a 2nd job (I commute 90 minutes each way to work and work 8:30 - 5:30 mon - fri).  I have no family to help or discuss or lean on.

There is alot more to this, I used to equate my seperation as a mix up of a bad anal porn and jerry springer with a dash of Hallmark tossed in for good measure, but I have to end here.

Thank you again.

Team Fortress part Deux

History of Team Fortress

Well here comes the history of the game, at least what I know of the history, as well as the differences in game play.

QWTF  

Quakeworld TeamFortress started as a Mod for Quake in 1996 and soon found a large following.  Unlike the other first person shooters of the day Team Fortress had multiple classes with set weapons and team based goals requiring both offense and defense during a match or game.
You could tweak with almost any setting from the motion when moving to packet size as well as create custom configs and alias's.
One of the major differences between QWTF and Quake were the use of grenades, every class had 2 types of grenades, usually a normal frag and then a 2nd unique to the class you were playing.  It was something back in the day to have your grenades timed to the point you could pop em in the face of an enemy, I myself have a timer .wav associated with my grenades so I knew how long I had.
Classes also had "special abilities" that were unique to the class, Scouts could disarm detpack, demomen could place detpacks, engineers could refill armor and medic could refill health.  I will go into the special abilities more when I get to classes.

TFC    

Team Fortress Classic was a mod for Half-Life 1.  If I remember right and from what I have read and been told TFC was basically the same as QWTF except for graphics and maps.  Again I didn't play this one so I am going to move on to the latest and greatest of the Team Fortress Franchise.

Team Fortress 2    

TF2 is loosely based on the original TF, updated versions of alot of the original maps, the same classes with the same basic roles.  And that is where the similarities end.
TF2 is a stand alone game created by Valve based on the Half-Life 2 engine.  It has the same classes as the previous versions and adds a number of different types of play (CTF,Attack/Defend, KOTH, Arena, Payload, Payload Race, etc).  This version also sees the removal of grenades and "special abilities" but adds 2 new elements previously not seen, item drops and inventory/trading.
In TF2 each class has a series of weapons that can be found while playing, found in crates which need a key to open, traded from other players, or purchased at the online store "Mann Co".  Each item has pros and cons when equiped and some items are part of a set, which when completed confer even more bonuses.
You can also pick up what I consider vanity items, these do nothing for you per say, no bonuses, no negatives, but customize you player.  I wear this on my pyro and this on my engineer and have this on all my guys.  These items are highly sought after but generally do nothing. Think of hats, thats what the main items are.

This is the basis for the various incarnations of Team Fortress, Next I will go onto classes.

Team Fortress Baby!!

Now for Team Fortress.  If you know me you know I have loved the game of Team Fortress for 15 years.  I started playing the quake mod of Team Fortress on QuakeWorld back around 1997, was in a number of competative "clans" or teams.

To start with I'm going to toss up some videos, first up is the QuakeWorld Team Fortress Video.

QWTF



And here is a Team Fortress Classic, Can't find a trailer exactly and I never really played TFC so here you go.



And finally Team Fortress 2, will do the medic video since I mainly play medic




Tommorow I go into the game play and history

Wed Playlist

Decided to do a spam of music on wed on my social sites, prolly annoyed alot of people but oh well.  I will put down the playlist for 9/14/11 here... YAYA


Wait and Bleed - Slipknot
Killing Moon - Echo & The Bunnymen
Hip Hop - Static X & Dead Prez
(sic) - Slipknot
Rebel Yell - Billy Idol
Chaos A.D. - Sepultura
Nymphetamine Fix - Cradle of Filth
The Bomb - Neuroticfish
What Happened to You - The Offspring
Revolution - Authority Zero
Don't Touch Me - Brak
The Line Begins To Blur - NiN
In Waves - Trivium
Wish I Had An Angel - Nightwish
Entropy - MC Hawking
Who Do I Turn Too - Sammy Davis Jr.
The Bleeding - 5 Finger Death Punch
Can I pplay With Madness - Iron Maiden
Ramblin Man - Waylon Jennings
Scolding Wife - Great Big Sea
Decending Angel - Misfits
War of the Gods - Amon Amarth
Castles Made of Sand - Jimi Hendrix
Wind Cries Mary - Jimi Hendrix
The Kids Are Quiet on Sharmon Palms - Lars Frederiksen & The Bastards
Fear of the Dark - Iron Maiden
Can't Rain All The Time - Jane Siberry
Touch of Red - In Flames
Snap Your Fingers Snap Your Neck - Prong
Sugar - System of a Down
Green Hell - Misfits
Weird Science - Oingo Boingo
Albatross - C.O.C.
Ain't That A Kick In The Head - Dean Martin
Drink and Fight - Dropkick Murphys
I dont care - Apocalyptica
Session - The Offspring
She Blinded me With Science - Thomas Dolby
The Things That Hate Us - Atmosphere
I Died for You - Iced Earth
Brackish - Kittie
Ace of Spades - Motorhead
1812 Overture - Tchaikovsky
Halo - Soil
Too Many Puppies - Primus
Supermagic - Mos Def
Manic Depression - Jimi Hendreix
Live or Die free - (hed) pe
Find Your Way - Authority Zero
Looking Out My Back Door - CCR
Helter Skelter - Beatles
Me and Bobby Mcgee - Janis Joplin
Live before I die - Social Distortion
Asphole - Pigface
Spicy Mchaggis Jig - Dropkick Murphys
New Disease - Spineshank
Simple Man - Simple Man
8 Million Stories - A Tribe Called Quest
Luciano Pavarotti - Ave Maria
Fake It - Seether
Fette's Vette - MC Chris
marilyn manson - Cake and Sodomy
jesus jones right here right now
BIG PUN - Still Not a Player
Bro Hymn - Pennywise
the battle of evermore - led zepplin
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes ~ Somewhere over the rainbow
Story of my Life - Social Distortion
Rime of the Ancient Mariner - Iron Maiden

TF2

Stressful weekend, stressful day, so just going to toss up some TF2 screenshots.  In case you don't know, TeamFortress 2 is a free to play FPS.  Team fortress started as a mod for Quake 15 years ago or so.  I was playing back then, was in a clan, Blood of the Fold [FOLD], and had a great time.  Well its still going, free to play, and awesome soss.
If you play or happen to start playing right now my in game name is ( . )( . ).

Meh part deux

Meh yet again, slow day, pissy mood, don't really know what to write about so I'm going to just put some pic I found and a link to the full site.  I'm not going to tell you whats up with this, look at the 3 pics I selected and check out the link :)

Check out the rest of the pictures here

Welfare

In case you haven't noticed I have no real theme or reason for my blog, just a place for me to rant, put up cool things I find, and generally just sorta blah.

Today I shall rant a bit.

Food stamps, Cash assistance, welfare.  I have to say all these programs are helpfull, usefull, more then likely save some lives.  But not everyone who has these benifits needs them, and you and I are the ones paying for it.  I am really sick of seeing people walk into a 7-11 and buy stuff with food stamps, frozen pizzas, sandwiches (as long as they aren't cooked there!) candy.  Or how bout at the grocery store, I get my ground hamburger and rice and pray it lasts me till I can get more, they get lobster, steak, name brand everything.  How the hell does that work?  They have no money for food so the state pays to feed em surf and turf and ben and jerrys ice cream?  Simple idea here, make them cook the food they get, have a list of what they can get (seafood, can get a catfish fillet or tuna fish for almost nothing.  Candy, soda, ice cream, sandwiches, all those items, any food product that is not healthy, should not be purchasable with food stamps.  Name brands should not be purchasable.  There should be a price cap on what you can buy.
People seem to forget, they are on food stamps because they claim to not be able to afford food, if they are buying T-bones and $8 a pound lunch meat from the deli, well that might be why.
What food stamps have allowed is people to live beyond their means.  How does this help anyone, take away food stamps and all of a sudden they can't afford food again.
Then you get to the food stamp fraud.  I don't get out much, but I know 2 seperate individuals who are currently commiting fraud.  One is getting food stamps and cash assistance for 3 kids, she only has 2, she pawned her 3rd one off on her mom and then on one of her kids friends, kid doesnt even live in the same city as her mom yet we are paying for food stamps for her as well as cash assistance.  I note about this one, 4 people in the household, 2 kids, 1 guy who doesn't work, and her, she calls in sick 2-3 times a week to go to seattle and smoke weed, when she runs out of weed she gets sick and has to call in sick and get more weed.  We are paying for this ladies food as well as giving her pot money.  I don't know about you but I have to pay for all my vices and I can't even call out sick when I am actually sick because I can't afford it.
The second lady (wow is this a theme here with ladies) I won't go into, don't know enough and none of my buisness, suffice it to say she is getting assistance from the state while planning an island wedding.
Here's what I'm going to do, call me a dick, call me an asshole but the fact is, if you know someone commiting fraud, turn them in, WE, the taxpayers, are the ones paying for this, this is the type of behaviour that will destroy our welfare system, and all of these people commiting fraud are taking resources from those who truely need it, they are literally taking the food out of the mouths of babes because of thier own selfish lazy desires.
I have reported the fraud I know about, if your in WA state and know of someone doing this call 1-800-562-6906, other states look for your welfare fraud hotline, guessing they have one.
Rant mode end: