So ya, all my planning, all my work is for nothing, nothing at all.  I will not have my kids living with me, I have been ostrasized from the only family I have left, and my impressionable children no longer see me as any type of father figure.  I will get evicted because I cannot afford a place I got for me and my kids alone, I will rarely see my children unless thier "family" needs a babysitter.
Its really hard to realize you have no family left, even your children are distanced.  My marriage has destroyed the person I was leaving this scared shaking husk.  I can't seem to understand social situations and fear the friends I have I have either hurt or will hurt, if they stick around long enough.
I have been cast aside by most people I have cared about in my life, how do I go on alone?  How do I keep this exurberence, this need to create art, to myself.  I feel I will go insane shortly if I don't find some sort of confidant or companion, someone I can count on giving me that hug when I get home from a bad day, someone to give the rose I just got to.