Monday, May 16, 2011

Society

I have social problems.  I'm trying to conquer them, but they still exist.  I will cancel our plans at the last moment, I will fail to return your calls, I will not contact you for weeks at a time.
     This does not mean I don't care, or that I'm upset or angry.  It means I have issues going on that I do not wish to burden you with,  It means events are spiralling out of control in my mind and I must cope with them alone, in my own way.
     It does not mean the email you sent went ignored, it means I currently do not know what to say, or that I do not appreciate the invitation to dinner, it means I think my presence may be detrimental.  It means, in my current frame of mind, I care enough not to burden you with my problems, or I am unsure if my comments may hurt you.
    I wish you could understand, to see the world as I do.  I wish I could openly express my feelings and the love I feel but if I don't fully understand these feelings how could I expect you too.

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